Foolish Career Opportunity – Act Now!

Update: Even though we’re a few days late, Happy April Fool’s! This day is always a big Foolish celebration and our recruiters wanted to join in on the fun. We encourage you to check our real open positions here.

Fool

In a growing workplace, the need to spare every free minute is crucial. Meetings are frequent and we want Fools to spend more time doing their best work. Too often these meetings get sidetracked, agendas get muddled, and attendees are left drooling, staring at the ceiling, or peeping cat videos on their phone under the table. The Motley Fool seeks a dedicated, compassionate, and commanding individual to be our full-time Senior VP, Meeting Resolutions. Meetings are a great way to brainstorm, collaborate, and revel in the knowledge and wit of colleagues and friends, and the person to fill this role will know precisely the moment when productivity is abandoned and meaningful contributions have ceased.

So what are our Foolish Recruiters looking for? Here are a few responsibilities and objectives of our Senior VP, Meeting Resolutions :

  • Save Fools’ precious time so they can focus on important projects
  • Recognize the difference between valuable contributions and clap-trap, yammer, and yadda yadda yadda
  • Command attention, regardless of who is speaking, and conclude the meeting with your patented Shut It Down move
  • Review meeting agendas to determine if the meeting even needs to happen
  • Attend meetings of all sizes and levels of importance, from the full-team hullabaloo to the two-person cowfee talk
  • Coach and develop the most egregious violators of meeting etiquette

We hope you’re still interested! A few more details that you may find helpful:

Core Competencies:

  • Great listener
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Perceiver of the unperceived
  • Trusted, credible, and beloved
  • Feared when the time is right
  • Unwilling to tolerate the following meeting no-no’s: pen-clicking, nail clipping, violent foot shaking, bullying, open-mouth chewing, arguing for arguing’s sake, glory-stealing, indecisive leadership, close talking, loud talking, personal space violations, gum snapping, bubble blowing, throwing an absent colleague under the bus, carrying on about last night’s reality TV shows (unless it’s The Bachelor… every Fool loves our weekly Bachelor recaps)

Preferred Qualities:

  • Current colleagues unequivocally trust your instincts
  • Comfortable with combative behavior
  • You first learned how to tactfully interrupt people in pre-school
  • You have mastered the Dikembe Mutombo “No, no, no” finger-wag
  • Unafraid to use squirt guns, Nerf darts, swift kicks under the table, or other Foolish weaponry
  • Handy with the phrase, “Oh no you didn’t!” if confronted with cheekiness
  • Comfortable leading with both charisma and fear

Education and Training:

-An M.S. in B.S.

-Extensive facilitation skills

-Training in Crucial Conversations

Wondering what to do next? Apply! We’re hiring quickly for the Senior VP, Meeting Resolutions position, so don’t let this opportunity go to waste. Click for the job application here!

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